vexed

HAPPY total defence day
heard the siren sound while i was practising yoga today
it was the first lesson of yoga after like four months of slacking?
rights.. back to normal life

why do i have to make difficult decisions all the time when going to a new environment graduating from schools to schools??

i wanted to go NTU SPMS (School of Physics and Mathematical Sciences)
to pursue math (or perhaps math and econs) at a deeper level
this will broaden me to many paths other than a teacher

i have a passion for teaching
but i'm afraid this passion will not last me long...
so i want to opt for this choice instead

however, having heard and adviced by my parents
that it's good to go straight to NIE
get paid and ur career will be stable
mainly due to financial reasons and that my father may not have that much to pay for my education

i cant bear to turn my ear away
but i just don want to limit myself to just one career track
as in i want to have flexibility in my career choices
perhaps i would not want to step into teaching afterall?
it's not practical in the long run
yes i'll be paid and this can allow me to spend for myself

it will be a win win situation if i am able to get myself a scholarship
and thats it...
my financial problems will be solved

but i don think too highly of myself being able to get a scholarship
so i need to have plan B

what should i do?
i see how it goes?
i may not be able to enter SPMS afterall...
min grade AAB

if i get into SPMS
i will study for 4 years
and if my passion for teaching still lasts
i will study another year at NIE

but i go to NIE
i will study and get paid at the same time
so i don have to worry abt financial problems

i cannot be so selfish all the time
and i have to spare a thought for my parents

imagine over 20 k per year
that's alot...

i'm worrying now...

well anyway i shall go do more research about uni stuff then
and find mrs tay for more more advice

thinking of starting work tmr
one makes me excited to see the juniors
another exciting school day ?
but thinking of seeing that disgusting jerk tmr makes me ill

RIP jtjj...
was sad after hearing the news like one hour ago ? (very slow)