Reflections on this summer holidays

I just ended all my chores today but it seems uncompleted to me. Somehow, I feel a great sense of satisfaction that I managed to clean up and clear up all whatever rubbish I have in my room. Feel like throwing everything useless away but I cannot. Starting work around 3 plus, went for a dinner break with my aunt and then come back again to work. All the way til just now. I didn't even sit in front of the TV watching the national day rally today. As a result, I turn up the volume near the max on my tv to listen to it. And now, heave a sigh of relief that I completed everything now, cleaning room, taking down clothes, folding clothes, sweep the floor, boil water ... Wow, it seems like a challenge in the future as a housewife. I plan to sleep early tonight but I guess with all my work undone and the kind of excitement will not make me fall asleep as soon as possible.

As I have promised myself, I will do a reflection on this summer holidays as it ends officially today.

This holidays are very long I guess compared to the normal summer holidays uni students enjoy. Went back to Malaysia straight after my paper for a short break. That's the only time I get out of Singapore the whole of this holidays. Kind of regretted not taking special semester to study more and clear more AUs due to the financial burden. Actually, it is affordable but hai... This regret leads me on to the eager to find a job since I have not tried out any outside jobs before and it may be the last time I am doing those jobs. Try Try Try but no one wants to hire me since I am only available for a short period. Then I started to have the thought of giving up to concentrate on doing other things like RSPHI or buck up on my maths. I have not been working hard the whole of sem 2 and things are getting harder. Started to get busy in May with iHEARyou that I have been skipping dinners at home to eat outside, which caused me to fall terribly sick with diarrhoea and vomitting. Then I realised how important health is to me before I can accomplished other things. And how rest is super important to me. Then comes the event which I think it was a success, the greatest contribution I think I made was to contact Siemens and they sponsored us with the keychains.

As I have the thought of giving up to find a job, two jobs came and I took up the first one which is a 2 day ad hoc job as a facilitator at some kids event. I worked for one day and the next subsequent days I fell sick. At the same time I took a student for tuition at JC2 level, which motivates me to teach and realises my strengths and weaknesses. Therefore, I worked extra hard but up til now, I still think there is room for improvement on my part to get things done and see results. There is not much time left and I just realised that prelims are coming. Still, concepts are unsure and basic facts are still incorrect.

I started going for work in June til July after iHEARyou, just after I fully recovered from my terrible illness. The job offer came just right so I accepted it. Soon after I got many calls from companies but I rejected them. Blur blur me made quite a number of mistakes but as I go on I learn alot from the job despite it being just a sykang job to anybody. I enjoyed the job and the great company I have from my lunch clique. I miss them especially HS and Bruce after I left the place to devote more time to rsphi and myself. A fulfilling one month. Somehow something spurs me on to think about my life, the meaningful things I want to accomplish. So, I decided to join the events in rsphi.

After I left, I had quite a hectic schedule to follow in preparing two song sign performances, for igc and project id. All my Saturdays are burnt with morning tuitions, afternoon rsp and night time song sign practice. Then again, before I get to enjoy the essence of it especially the mediacorp event. I fell sick again, the second time. This time is flu, fever, cough, sorethroat. Then I realised that, seriously, rest is important to me despite the aim to occupy myself and my mind with events. Hectic schedule is not for me.
Lesson learnt: not to pack your schedule til 没天每夜.

I don't know what happen. I thought after I left work, I will have more time for myself but that doesn't seem to be the case. Straight til this point of time, I don't even have a day for myself to nuah at home. I'm just busy with getting sick and recovering for the whole of my holidays.

The greatest accomplishment for this holidays would be the joy of getting the TA with my own effort. From the point I got the phone call, to interview, til the day I received the offer, then to the medical check up, signing of deed, moe induction and then the day when I walk up to receive the certificate with the sickly myself. Despite being the lowest in rank of the awards, I am still happy with what I have done for myself and my parents. Though on the day when I receive the offer, I have second thoughts on this career after scary experiences in my sec school. Everything seems so coincidental. But whatever it is, I will definitely do a good job and I believe I can do it. Somehow, I wasn't much happier when I see Mrs Tay appearing behind me on TSPC as compared to the day of receiving the offer. It was Mrs Tay who gave me the courage to pursue on this career. I may be afraid at times, but I will try.

Then it comes the last event of the holidays which is the YOG volunteering. Though the job is mundane, but I still like the accompany I have for each day of duty. I admire the athletes for their effort and the glory they bring to the country. Feeling envious in me that I didn't do anything big or great that satisfies me (well, maybe TA?). I am not a sports inclined person. I always wish to do proud of the nation, singing the national anthem with pride. However, that doesn't happen to me. Alot of sacrifices will be done. I started to think for myself. Up to now, it seems like I have never pursue anything all the way til the end. Maybe Maths, but that's different. From Art, music, dance, singing, sports, volunteering, it's all a alittle effort here and there which don't give you much in life. Looking on the bright side, I have tried those things before, well maybe not sports but something related to sports. I always think if I were to accomplish something I will definitely be good at it. Somehow this thought always ring in my mind so I choose to give up everything because I don't think I will be good at it. That's very cruel of me to think that way. I will still continue to do meaningful things as much as possible because it seems like I have wasted my youth away and not much time is left for me. Especially when health is concerned. However, one good point is that, my values and morals are brought up right despite the kind of environment I was in the last time. I hold on to my principles strongly of being a good student. Which makes me who I am today, not I am still not very good. But I am glad... that I am mature enough? Am I? Or still childish...

Back to the topic, I am really impressed by what this small nation can do. YOG, though there are negative comments, but I enjoy the feeling alot. There is one and only experience for us. At least, I got to contribute in YOG despite missing a chance to see the olympic flame and cheering for the torch bearer.

Still I didn't get to finish what I want during this summer holidays. Especially catching up with my studies. You may think that I am a mugger but I am slow in things so I would need to spend more time on it to achieve good grades. I will work hard and I am super looking forward to a new year in NTU. If I don't go to a place called 'school', I will go bonkers. HAHA! Take for example of falling sick in two times within 4 months. This is proven true for the past 6 years that when holidays come, I fall sick.

Gearing up for the next 4 months. Jia You! Good luck and all the best for tomorrow! ;)