结束了！一切都结束了

this phrase keeps ringing in my head after the super funny "breakout" skit in last week's star awards show.
yes, the most horrible module of this sem is finally coming to an end tomorrow, at 5pm.

Thinking about that, one assignment finally down. Tomorrow I have to hand in two assignments, another one on Tuesday. Then tonnes of quizzes due by this Friday. 5 quizzes. 2 matlab assignments. Spend my time today today so many assignments. Didn't even study concretely. It's just two more weeks left. And nothing has been done. Okay, I think I have the sense of urgency now. I don't think I have spent my week wisely. With two days out to do HW, then left the remaining days trying to chiong things but I'm studying so slowly. I made an accomplishment today by not studying in front of the computer. K I shan't do that. Laptops are very distracting. But I want songs!

I feel like a lousy superwoman. Having survived 5 hours of sleep a day. But the next day I overslept my whole morning away. Now I prefer cooling weathers because hot weathers caused me to fall asleep very fast.

It was a nice meet up with pong and dong yesterday, eating burmese cuisines, watching the humourous movie Rio. It was 4 months since I last watched a movie. A great time to let go my tense-ness in me. And I also spent most of time figuring out if my gong cha is sweet or sour while the two guys are having their mens talk all the way. I don't have the time spent with friends like this, just sitting down, "enjoying" drinks and talking. Hardly in my life, so I appreciate the friendship alot. I guess one day, the trio will have to separate. I don't know who will leave first. I don't know when will it be. But I know one thing for sure, I will have to treasure the times now, than to regret later. If you ask about my past, I don't have a fantastic teenage life spent. I spend most of the time crying, in depressed moods during secondary school. I have problems mixing into the culture of the school. And up til now, I am still blaming my parents who sent me to this school. I thought, I could have be happier elsewhere. But I'll never know, maybe worse. One thing I learn for sure is. I've got to be indepdendent. I never trusted my friends anymore, til I met great friends in Jc and uni. I never had a best friend in life. Friends just come and go as I reached a new phase of my student life each time. Perhaps we are still friends and can talk, but still, not veryvery close as before. People will be busy, so am I. That's how my teenage life passed. My real teenage life started when I was 17, as I entered JC. That's when I got to be happier and learn to appreciate things I have in life. You may say I grow up late. That's because I didn't do as much things as some others do when they are really young. I should try new things, I should join more stuffs, I should do this, I should do that. But back then, all I know is... my friends don't accept me, what should I do? That kind of mindset which impedes me to move on. It's amazing how I could survive through 4 years there.

I am trying to understand things now. Sometimes I understand, sometimes I don't. But I can never really understand in my heart. Because I don't have the experience. Growing up? Haha, we shall see if I ever grow up. That does not mean my life is nothing as compared to others. That does not mean my life is worthless. Just that, I'm slow, or not cut out to make a difference.

I may whine, I may complain, but deep down in my heart, sometimes I don't mean what I say. I will continue to try and push all my limits away. Overcome my obstacle. I can do it, and I will.

Frankly, I am very scared now being a teacher. I can't imagine myself being totally immersed in the new kind of working experience as a full-time teacher.