along the way she told me abt the misunderstandings that happened on monday
well, it's all clarified...
i do not wish to spoil any frenship or bonds just due to this matter
but the misunderstandings between rtsa, glin, and ty havent been settled i guess...
i really think somebody must pour it out and not keep it mum
perhaps the matter is not that serious afterall?
but just don act on sth upon based on assumptions
while reaching, we saw a big pj balloon high in the middle in the air.. wow
when we stepped in, the symphonic band is playing and the students are there watching
i thought it was that grand, everybody is sitting down watching intently (everyone so 乖）
saw some 熟人 as we walked around the school
well actually the turn out is not that good but better than 2007
but i guess it's quite fun la if u r once a pioneer or current pioneer!
cuz it's the alumni and students having fun themselves and not the public
i guess pj will form most of my bestest memories of education in my whole life throughout all my years as a student (at least up til now)
i always thought to myself: i nv regret coming here though that time i wanna leave these place due to stress, but i regretted leaving due to friends
and i always thought: on farewell assembly day 10/10/08 i will be very emo cuz it's the last time we pioneers can gather tgt in the college
then i thought hmmmm don need get emo so fast, i still can come back and study during study break, so i thought i will get both happy and sad on 18/11/08 cuz happy due to end of A lvl stress and sad due to leaving the school...
but i think think, don worry still can get in contact with classmates cuz we'll sure come out and chill e.g. prom night, class outing, class's sports and chalet all that
my emo day postponed
farewell class dinner... not that seriously emo cuz i wouldnt say i'm in very very close bonds with them esp the guys. but i'll miss the laugher and the 07s25 lessons that gave me
still not that emo... cuz i think i still can come back!!!
pj open house, crash orientation n have fun
collect A lvl results... that will be the last time i step out of pjc
until x'mas eve when miss lee allowed me to go back pj and relief teach
and my emo day will postpone and postpone til the last day of work=)
i am still not emo!
2 years very very short... everyone ... must treasure hard!
我虽然很不喜欢每天不够睡而还要辛辛苦苦从床上爬起来上学的感觉，但因为pjc所有每一个人，我还是开开心心的来学校上课。我好怀念那段时光。
that was what i'm thinking of when i'm at patio today with yt
open house is as usual ... not much fun though there is fun
we left for lot one
on the way there
we saw a huge spider..
will post it if i get the pic
popular... we went to take a look at some stuff and books.
i went to glimspe thru at pri 6 syllabus and some of the questions
real headache abt how to start my lesson on sat... what should i do???
after that we pop by at the books department and browse thru some of the books
hai... i don really like to enjoy novel though some are interesting.
but i do prefer reading chinese novels!
like wad yt said, u know what each character means in 红楼梦 but when put tgt it becomes difficult to understand... thats what im facing now reading 红楼梦.
maybe i could get back to read novels now esp 琼瑶 series
then we pondered at a book, not a fiction nor novel but it's 心理测验 regarding love test...
we stood there and did the first test for awhile...
戀愛心理會客室
你是否容易陷入單相思？
1 你會崇拜某些偶像明星（或名人）嗎？ 否，歌唱好戲演好就好 0
2 最近你是否常感到十分空虛？ 不確定，但身邊有好朋友 1
3 你常感到心煩意亂，且無心做任何事嗎？ 否，不能讓感情影響任何事0
4 你常常夢到和喜歡的人談情說愛嗎？ 否 0
5 你是那麼的喜歡他（她），可對方卻沒什麼反應，是嗎？ 不確定,how would i know? 1
6 最近我在上課（工作）事，老是不能集中注意力嗎？ 否 0
7 以往所喜歡的活動，近來卻老是提不起勁嗎？ 否，都說過了 0
8 最近常看愛情小說或電視連續劇嗎？ 是，常幻想我是女主角，哈2
9 最近開始用日記來傾訴心事嗎？ 不確定，blog算不算？ 1
10 你總是盼望他（她）能不經意地出現在你的面前嗎？ 那當然咯 2
11 你希望有一天他（她）能走過來主動和你打招呼嗎？ 希望吧 2
12 他（她）好像總是故意躲著你嗎？ 否 0
13 你相信「心有靈犀一點通」嗎？ 天秤座，怎能不相信？ 2
14 你最近會常常食欲不振嗎？ 吃能讓我忘了一切 0
15 我喜歡打聽有關他（她）的一切情況嗎？ yes 2
16 他（她）應該也會喜歡你的嗎？ 不確定－＿－ 1
17 聽說他（她）已經有戀人了嗎？ dont know, shouldnt be 1
18 你認為，愛一個人不一定要表示出來嗎？ 也許吧，快樂就好 2
19 你房間書桌上一直放著他（她）的照片嗎？ 沒有 0
20 為了引起他（她）的注意，你經常花心思打扮自己嗎？ 我喜歡做我自己 0
21 昨天他（她）從你的身邊走過，卻沒看你一眼，你因而覺得失望嗎？
如過有的話，我也不敢看他啊 0
22 只要他（她）一和你說話，你就會有點緊張嗎？ 當然會 2
23 他（她）好像只把你當成普通朋友看待嗎？ 。。。 1
24 每當你看見他（她）和別的異性在一起有說有笑時，心理就很不是滋味嗎？
一點點，但這是普通的吧 2
25 你希望能與他（她）一起出去玩或私下相處嗎？ 2
是 2分 不確定 1分 否 0分
總分：24
說明你已經愛上對方了，但對方好像沒有給你同等的感情回報，使得你近日過得比較痛苦，也影響了正常的生活。
是這樣嗎？我想，我戀愛了才知道吧。。。
18年没有谈过恋爱，很渴望这种感觉吧，究竟恋爱的滋味是怎样的呢？
perhaps yt and me are too yearned to be loved!!!
爱，和 被爱， 你会选择哪一个？
so 3 of us bought the book each and shared another book...
kinda fun ba...
我相信缘分的到来，但“他”在哪里呢？
headed for the newly opened library
and i saw my junior studying and completing their holiday assignments...
not easy now cuz they have review tests when term starts
and orientation is 5 days ! fun but must miss lessons... i guess i'll enjoy that period
chatted and they consulted us for awhile
headed home... but b4 that i passed yt a present, just a little token but i guess i have to get her a present... it'll be v troublesome cuz sharing present always v ma fan, so i'll prepare a present for her? hee hee..... surprise!!
on the lao kok kok bus which jerks all the way
i saw beta ogl wei jie and i chatted with him
though juvenile delinquent but i find him very nice guy...
cranky at times
for a while i admire his determination? courage? boldness? just cant find a suitable word to describe
worked his effort all the way to jc and through A levels...
i think it's good to give pple second chance?
i'm sure he can make his way through life journey
had a great chat!
he told me he is working at a bar at some hotel, but as a teacher in a while time at his sec sch
extreme huh? the way he puts it is funny indeed...
i had dinner with my mum today cuz father at ot
had a long chat with mum abt friends, trust, opinions all sorts of things i can chat with her
realise i hadnt told her abt what happen bet me and ww
she said what a pity to such friendship...
失去一个朋友很容易，交个知心朋友很难
那。。。他算是个知心朋友吗？应该是好朋友吧，你说呢？
then my mum said he was petty too.. haha! but i guess due to generation gap, she wouldnt really understand that perhaps is due to sensitiveness too... yt u get what i mean?
come on lets recall:
on the first day of chalet me and yt went to the s'pore vs kallang match and both of us went to the toilet in the middle of the halftime match
then she told me actually he was angry with me for a period of time
i said: when?
yt: the period around promos...
me: why?
it was the time when he knew he was going to retain, then perhaps he misunderstood my words of encouragement for words of jeer.
i was thinking hmmm, i cant remember perhaps my tone wasnt right at all... perhaps i think he has the capabilty but lack the performance and he could do it with hardwork... i was at fault too
but i told her, i didnt know he was angry in the first place... she doesnt know either=)
if u said the period before or after promos, i thought we're still very good friends...
puzzled...
if i'm not wrong and dont remember wrongly
he still told fellow classmates who went for sirius outing that i'm his special friend...
well, then why????
he was avoiding me for the past year, but yt said all the more u are paiseh, all the more u should remain as close friends... and not avoid
-conversation disrupted....-
til bfast at east coast mac during night cycling...
me: then what happened after that?
yt: he admitted he was childish at that point of time, thinking back he really really regretted... (sacrificing this friendship)
but now there isn't much that can be done...
though it is possible, but difficult...
我就觉得很奇怪lor...
me: but nobody knows abt this, like even zx
yt: i dont know either... he should talk it out or perhaps show that he is angry.... so at least somebody will know what is going on and resolve the conflict...
i thought: even yt doesnt know, means he must be keeping it within himself, if yt knows she will confirm do sth to resolve this and let it worsen... yt should have ask that question that i want her to...
那，我，莫名其妙，无原无故的失去一个朋友。。。但一切能挽回吗？我想，不可能了吧。。。 我们不可能再见面了。
all this conversation between yt and him took place few weeks before A lvls during the study break at rp. which is like almost 1 yr later?
1 yr later i knew the truth, but there's no turning back...
such a waste isn't it?
so after the cycling since i had a fell, they ask me to return to chalet along with the spoilt bike
huiting was tired and weichee wasnt feeling comfortable...
they both slept beside me during the taxi ride
along the way i had many thoughts...
i think abt what yt said today over again...
i nearly teared ... about losing a friend due to miscommunication and not clarifying things clearly and let the problem worsen and worsen... avoid and avoid...
not only he was avoiding me, i was avoiding him too
but i didnt tear, soon we reached chalet...
but i really really want to thank yt for telling me this only after A lvls since she already knew it before A lvls...
or not it would affect my mood when i sit for the exams
and what she had done for me...
i told my mum about this and she said this was right too...
at least it wont leave a question mark even after i left this place...
at least i knew whats going on
yt: 我已经不明不白的失去了一个很好的朋友，你还是他的好buddy，珍惜这份友情吧！不要走我的后路。same to everyone of u all..
so lesson number 5: pour out whatever thoughts and feelings u have to anyone... just any one
i'm sure they will help u and u will help urself to get through many obstacles..
just like i got some misunderstandings clarified this morning...
if u don say it out, nobody is going to know what has happened... blogging does work too=)
i also told my mum, i learnt many lessons such as 千万不能排斥任何人，因为有一天你不知道你需要他／她的帮忙，也许他／她将依靠你，成为你的好朋友也说不定。也千万不能揣测。如果这世界上，每个人都活在彼此猜疑的情况下，伤了和气，这又何必呢？
i'm learning to let it go...
this are parts and parcels of life... isnt it?
yt: 你有两个好朋友－一个必须学习放下一段感情，一个必须学习放下一段友情，哪一个比较困难呢？
Sundial Dreams - Kevin Kern
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