Live. Learn. Dream

I just want to edit the grammar and sentences to make it look nicer as a prose.

This is the theme for this year's PJ open house.

I went back to PJ with Bryan today for a little visit, remininsce the memories that I have spent almost three years studying and working there, feeling quite strange when we stepped back together because Bryan was in his PE attire after his PE lesson today and I was in my super casual plain shirt and jeans berms after lecture today. First, we went to visit Mrs. Tan, we spoke to her for quite a long time. Bryan did the speaking most of the time and I just tag along and listen. Some teachers and also the VP thought that we were parent and children coming to talk to Mrs Tan for appeal to come JC or whatsoever. That means Bryan is my father and I'm his daughter. What a joke! Haha...

Then I walk around the school to look for teachers and chat. Basically I felt nothing much that I want to share except for updating my current student life in NTU. But I was really glad to be informed of good news! However, it could be because of the working atmosphere that seems weird as I am very young compared to those full time working teachers, we don't have much things to chat about. In addition, the teachers offer me many snacks here and there, feeling so paiseh. Oh ya, I realised many teachers cut their hair as short as mine!

Canteen has changed. Though the noodle, chicchic and western stall remains, the others were gone. I miss the drinks stall because it used to sell many things like cut fruits which i usually frequent. But I think the current stall sell popular new stuff like waffles which I believe many students will fancy. And the track is undergoing renovation, the place where s25 guys play soccer is now filled by the track for hockey training. I sat by myself in the canteen drinking plain hot milo (arhhh, my gastric is revisiting me again! how to survive my sem2?) and watching the open house video- live, learn, dream is the caption for the video, well, they always use the same photos which were mostly taken by my batch people. At the same time listening to a student just graduated from O-s playing on the piano. I just find that this place really nurture me into a more "mature" person (alright, ya I am still very kiddish). At least for my emotions as I could better control and manage my emotions and feelings better, and also to make more rationale and realistic decision when it comes to decision making. Not forgetting, I have met many wonderful people who has made a difference in my social life, though I sacrificed something for the other before. I do have some sad memories but these are part and parcel of life isn't it? One thing that I have learnt is not to cry over spillled beams because whatever done is done. What to do next is to find a new soltuions to rescue the problems instead of worrying and sighing.

Enough about updates of my opinion in a student's view.

Teaching is more than just teaching. It is not just any naïve job that gets you satisfaction from the student’s progress. It gets me pondering sometimes whether and when teaching is going to be career for me in my life. After having a long chat with Mrs Tan, I realised that there is a lot to handle emotionally too, other than the heavy workload that a teacher has. Like how you portray yourself infront of others is one thing, how you portray yourself in front of yourself is a tougher thing to do – how you expect yourself to look at yourself. It gets many adults in these career to do a lot of self thinking and stuffs, which a small girl like me find it difficult to understand because I do things that I am happy in and can make a difference in something, but I never bother about portraying myself in front of myself. Ooh, though I did that sometimes but it is just a touch and go thing in my life. I have never set what kind of person am I supposed to become a few years later – what I wanna be and what change do I see myself. Because as time passes I have gone to realise that life is just about being simple and happy. “Thank goodness you are alive!” kind of fact that will be sufficient to make you a happy person in the world, that may explaun why the first word in this theme is LIVE. To be able to live, then can we learn to overcome obstacles in life – LEARN. And then, we can dream about aiming for the stars, taking higher flight of steps and achieving it more than what we usually can – DREAM and fulfil the dream. I have never gone into so much thinking about self esteem and so on. But sometimes I am really sensitive about many things so I really don’t want to worry myself in every aspect of little detail in life because that would set me thinking and thinking til it gets so depressing beneath me psychologically and socially. For me, I don’t want to talk about things that would make me uneasy so I would just let it go and disappear then I would come back into real stuff in life! But if that particular thing in my head gets too distracting, I would just talk it out to a friend I trusted and that’s it. Never would I believe it will get so worked up especially in the working life and needs a psychiatrist and counsellor. Also, I can never imagine how it is like working as a full time staff, though I was a “full time relief teacher”. It is always better being a student… yes I agreed with Ms Stephanie Chua. Being too insensitive or too sensitive beneath me is unhealthy for me, I think… Thank goodness I am occupying my time right now into study, work and voluntary work. Self reflection gets too important for people like us. For the same reason, I didn’t really experience much yet and I hope to experience it soon. I don’t want to be stuck at the same level each time I revisit the same situation though it is much for comfortable staying in a comfort zone. Teaching is so far more than just teaching. There are some social skills, commitment you have to do and take note of, mentally, psychologically, emotional commitment and so on. Am I really prepared to do this and meet the challenge? Here comes passion and challenge (haha… quoted from lao ren’s nick) I would need to see the real world in a better light. But at least, I know how is it like within the staffroom of the school now. It is completely different when a student looking at a teacher and a teacher looking at a teacher. Just like how a student sees a teacher outside the staff room and how she sees a teacher inside the staff room. I was sitting at Ms Lee’s desk talking to her and looking at this. I have wanted to quote this but I keep forgetting these 2 sentences, poor memory skills. How can I man? Haha. I went to google it and surprisingly I found a paragraph of it which is very interesting to look at:

To Light Another Lamp by Rabindranath Tagore:
A most important truth which we are apt to forget, is that a teacher can never truly teach unless he is still learning himself. A lamp can never light another lamp unless it continues to burn its own flame. The teacher who has come to the end of this subject, who has no living traffic with his knowledge, but merely repeats his lessons to his students, can only load their minds; he cannot quicken them. Truth not only must inform but inspire. If the inspiration dies out, and the information only accumulates, then truth loses its infinity. The greater part of our learning in the schools has been wasted because, for most of our teachers, their subjects are like dead specimens of once living things, with which day they have a learned acquaintance, but no communication of life and love.

I only came across the italic sentences at Miss Lee’s desk wall. But the following sentences are really for me and those wanting to be teachers in future to ponder about. Repeating lessons to students may become a no life thing, it’s just another subject that students have to memorise and so on. I think what education is lacking of on is educating students with proper lifeskills they need to have in future. I really hope that the system could do something about this. I am trapped in the education system where it’s all about getting facts right and regurgitate out for exams to score A. sometimes basic life skills or skills that we need to use for living are seriously of zero knowledge, well at least this is how I feel. I really admire Taiwan primary school students and the education they are going through. Somehow I wish I am a Taiwan student, haha… maybe sending my kid over there to study will be a good thing? This may be something to do with our culture. Parents are complaining about the amount of work and number of subjects primary school students are doing, and really going into depth about every single detail of life they need to know for good survival skills. I would boldly say, I knew very little of such stuff, emergency and first aid knowledge, even Singapore history and facts, which are not really deeply intrigued into our minds.

I really need to be educated more because we are lacking our own roots already. Somehow I enjoy uni electives because some modules are touching into lives of people, how people think and live. Sec school and JC is so dead. What is really saddening is that, I have been used to this kind of dead education system already and whatever changes to make it more alive would just put me off. I sincerely hope that the next generation of students are not like that, being too much in the comfortable strawberry garden.

There are a lot to require and expect to be a teacher, even Mrs Tan disapproved of what the media used to portray teaching by attracting people to come into the career, and neglecting the other passionate and dedicated people who will make a difference in school students. Arh! Talking about passion: is it better to have passion,but not good in teaching? Or, good in teaching but no passion. It’s hard to achieve both at the same time, I believe. But it’s really gonna take some time but nothing is impossible! I think I fall into the former case. Well, all I have said, this is at a point of view of a relief teacher who has taught in PJ for half a year.

Would I then, be able to live up to “live, learn, dream”?

P.S: I have made some changes in my language and the way I write. Of course, it’s neater and nicer in this microsoft word form. Haha, please do leave comments by tagging at my tagboard! Thank you for your time spent reading my super long post.