A racing mind...

As I grew older, I began to tire alot when my mentality and mind is racing, having a marathon. I always tend to procrastinate and tell myself I needed a rest, stopping me from doing other things properly. I am beginning to detach myself from the rest of the world, living in my own world. Does that help? I don't do things that are on the trend right now. Why should I stop myself from doing the things I like and force myself to do things that I don't really fancy just to conform to other people? Well, that just some rant.

I really have many thoughts this week and I don't know why. Old people tend to reflect alot? Oh no, I'm getting old...

Family
Haven't been spending time with my Mum because when I'm out, she's in and when I'm in, she's out. My dad, HAHA, I have been entertained and entertaining him these few days. I'm trying to accept the kind of way he is, because he is my father. Well, I am happy in the house. Nothing much to say. I hope I can spend more time at home. Okay, whatever you say, I'm a 宅女.

Friends
Different kinds of friends I met. Old friends, starting to drift apart though we have become closer. I feel a sense of weirdiness beneath me. Is it me who is like that? Or is it them who have changed? It's the kind of feeling I have because I seem to have different opinions compared to them. Different ideologies, different background, different aims, different priorities. Well, this is just a group of people. I am very fortunate to meet good souls around RSPHI.

It's so unlike me who spend time with friends til later than midnight during the class outing on Friday, even went to sing midnight k. But I think it was worth it because it's the first time I sang with them after knowing them since JC? Can really see the rah rah side of them... It was this time my mind start to race. Worrying that my parents will tick me off for coming back so late. In the past I used to love to spend time with friends and have a wonderful 青春 teenage years. But now arh, I think I have more responsibilities and aims to achieve. That's why I said, both are so unlike me, growing up is a hassle especially entering another decade of life. 老了老了。。。
朋友们，说说看，我的实际年龄和真实年龄是什么样的差别呢？比较老，还是比较年轻？哈哈哈。。。

Relationships
Haha, that was close to friendship as what I have mentioned earlier on. It is not the right time to talk about it. I believe in fate, but at the same time, I choose not to believe in fate too! Such a dilemma. When it comes, it will come to me. I still prefering initiative people. Because in uni, I choose to follow. I am happy with what I have now =)

Responsibilities
I have officially signed the letter of agreement yesterday at 1pm. I kind of screw it up mostly due to the blur state I am in. I set a goal to achieve, I must read everything carefully. I am always complacent to browse through everything fast fast and neglect the important details. That's something I learnt after working with accountants. Then I mislead my father and ask him to write on the wrong line. But the officials are nice lah, they didn't reprimand me or anything. But I just feel very demoralised when I screw up something that is kinda important in my life. The process took just 5 minutes and my father specially took a cab down for it. HAHA!
I am ready for new challenges... that's my priority. Aiming to teach my student well so he gets his A for math.

Work
This week was rather fine because my boss suddenly was good to me. She can teach me something and at the same time sidetrack with me, asking what uni I am in, studies bla bla... And that day she suddenly tap on me and said: " 去拿水果吃！" I was doing debit posting all the while. In the beginning I was so blur but after that I am starting to get the hang of it. One more thing I felt a sense of achievement is that I help HS earlier on clearing the invoices. Total 8 boxes - out of which 7 was brought to warehouse. Then now I helped the AP side to clear more than 8 boxes too. They so happy that we cleared the top of the wardrobe. I met a good colleague Catherine, nice chatting with her all the time. Then I secretly did two things which I think I am not supposed to. I brought my tuition stuff there to do, Catherine saw it, she didn't say anything but still ask me more background about me. Secondly, I printed my results slip using their printer. Unluckily there were people printing 100 over pages and so I have to wait. Luckily Catherine's job was in front of me so she also helped me collect my results slip. Doing personal stuff at work. She gave me a cheeky smile :P

RSPHI
I am fortunate to be here. It allows me to realise my passion, strength and weakness. My passion in volunteering and helping others achieve greater heights, to be more appreciative in silence as a form of beauty. I am starting to detest noisy places. Yucks... My strengths, well not alot but I am surprised when Zhang Wei assigned a dual post for me as a Biz Mag for I hear you. I dislike it intially because I am not a business person. But after all that I have gone through, though I joined the Biz Mags late. We settled the WSC canvassing fair, help our centres and other centres do canvassing activities. Though I am just a small fry in the com, but I learnt alot from other biz mags. Slowly, I didn't know I can achieve the task and began to like it. Though there are alot of things I am blur about, I still manage to help the event get keychains for the prizes. Although there are certain misconceptions that took place, when I ask for 150 but they only gave me 50 keychains, and the times I am sick to handle this matter. Still, I got it successfully, though it comes abit late but it's a great sense of achievement. My weaknesses in being a leader, more of a talker and a slacker most of the time HAHA! I began to realise I cannot take stress and late nights, busy days. Else, I will fall sick. Actually more attributed to eating outside food all the time. My weakness in my health and concentration. However, I am still grateful to everybody who helped me and another, being understanding and all...

Let's talk about tuition, though attendance hasn't been really good. I am assigned to Sheryl for more than half a year. Though I really want to teach her but there isn't any content for me to try harder. Still disappointed over her grades but I hope I can really help her. I have been asking myself lately that, have I put in much effort on her? Partly, because I think I haven't been utilising enough of the sign language I learnt. But I am glad that her mother is still very supportive of me. I hope I can help her pull up all her grades. However, today due to some unforseen circumstances, I was assigned to teach Shuy Hui (okay, I have been calling her the 34 year old lady, I shall stop calling her this because none of the woodpeckers is telling me her name! Except for yesterday when our woodpeckers papa and mama finally tell me her name...) Ya... they told me she's quite serious and all, didn't dare to communicate with her. So I thought, I just covered for today and I just gave a shot. Luckily she took out her Math instead of Physics and started our tuition. Time really passes fast teaching her because she is quite serious and so I can teach her more stuff. Some of the questions are really very hard and A level style though it's an O level assessment book. Some of the stuff I have never learnt before, but just try to understand the book and digest the information. I can sign to her, but my signing is very bad. Spend most of the time writing but I still try to sign the short and easy phrases like "no need", "wrong", "different". She thank me alot yesterday, somehow wanting me to teach her again. But I think Benson should be back next Sat. A great challenge today!

I have signed up for all the activities planned by the committee, except for the whole of IGC. I hope to spend more time with them doing meaningful activities. Performing for Project ID, RSPHI day, and of course BS2. I am intending to quit work early to get some rest and some time for myself to catch up with things, rest and time for myself and my stuff. Holidays are always spent with RSPHI people, that's something I like and at least my long holidays are not so dull afterall. Yeepies!

Looking forward to them!