Is it because my expectations of everything are held too high?

I am just angry with myself for not putting enough effort into the test today. The questions are just repeated from lecture and I didn't bother to go thru line by line. End up I don't know how to do most questions. Fail liao lor like that. Yes Yes all of you all must be thinking ya it's just pass fail so don't worry. But afterall the grades will somehow be reflected on the transcript and it is not nice to just pass everything right. I still want to do well and give in my best, even though I am on exchange. And also, I still want to continue doing other things too. Even though it is just a midterm paper. I feel really really lousy. Never did I do badly before. My parents must be mad at me.

Is it because of new environment? Distractions? New style of learning?

No excuses. I am just plain too tired, distracted, not paying much attention in class, dozing off most of the time (which I really seldom do in NTU), chiong last minute assignments (never ever did I do that before), just merely touching and going unprepared for a test.

I need to buck up and move on in life!

Seriously, it's a bad day today. So tiring, after a long day at lessons, and a lousy midterm paper. Plus, the stormy weather makes me so drenched and brain freeze on my way back. I never felt so 狼狈 before. I thought I could have a decent dinner when I got home, but apparently, I have to cook... when I end my lessons so late. Nevermind, the rice is so sucky... Atrocious dinner, and it has nothing to do with my pork, seriously.

Is it the problem with me? First, going to lessons with me seems a boring thing and showing me black faces all the time? Having to not reply me properly when I ask a question, even though the question is stupid. Second, having to keep putting words into my mouth whenever I say something of my own opinion and infer some meaning not of the intended message. Assuming that I do well in anything when actually I am not. No you can't judge! Third, insisting on cooking but when it's your turn, it will suddenly become my turn to cook. I'm not against it and I have been sacrificing most of my sleep and studying time just to cook. So what if you need to study, I also have to study right? And leaving everything in the kitchen UNATTENDED. I thought I am a lazy and dirty person that's why my mum always have to nag at me, but apparently I can't stand the mess in the kitchen. Wanting to sleep more and having to cook each meal before the night, making it so unhealthy. And just because some people suggested you to cook a big pot of rice, leave in the kitchen, sprinkle water and heat it up whenever you want to eat... you really suggested it to me, and this results in a straight NO in your face.

Did I meet the wrong group of people? Or is it simply the problem with me?